Learning to set goals and map out how to achieve them is an important life skill for long term recovery. Those in recovery are commonly challenged in their ability to set and achieve goals. These are three common reasons why. Working with a therapist, sponsor, or mentor is important for objectively looking at goals, how to set them, and how to achieve them.
- We have low self-esteem and low self-worth. Low self-esteem and low self-worth are problems for everyone. For those in recovery, they are common characteristics and “character defects” which have a ripple effect on everything in life, like setting and achieving goals. When we struggle with a low image of who we are, we become afraid of failure in setting goals. Failure is a major blocker to setting goals with which many people struggle. Living with low self-esteem and low self-worth makes the perception of failure especially intimidating. We don’t think that we are worth the goals we would set for ourselves, or achieving them. Failure to achieve our goals would be validation that we are worthless- a truth we already struggle with believing. Creating even the smallest goals every day can help us realize how worthy and capable we are.
- We set unrealistic goals that we don’t think we can achieve. Goals can seem like big accomplishments which take years to achieve. Goals can be big and small. They can also be long term or short term. We can set small goals every day, larger goals every week, big goals every month, and bigger goals every year or multiple years. As addicts and alcoholics in recovery, we are prone to instant gratification, without the work to get what we want. We set goals that are unrealistic, that we don’t think we can really achieve. Then, we want and try to achieve that goal as quickly as possible. We set ourselves up for disappointment, stuck in the delusion of unachievable goals. Goals have to be realistic and measureable.
- We convince ourselves we’re fine the way that we are. Acceptance is an important theme in recovery. Accepting things, places, people, and situations is important for learning the difference between what is in our control and what is out of our control. However, acceptance can quickly turn into complacency when we don’t actively work on learning what we can or cannot control. We accept too much and stop taking the action to progress any further than we already have. Recovery is about becoming grateful for what we have and what we have been given. It is also a second chance at life to thrive and to prosper.
In recovery our clients learn life skills, relapse prevention and strategies to remain sober outside of our addiction program. We teach our clients everything they should know about their addiction, their personal triggers, and tendencies when faced with conflict. Contact Cypress Lodge Lakes on 409 331 2204.