It takes a lot of hard work in therapy and treatment to confront toxic behaviors and reprogram the brain to act differently. Empathy and compassion are important for understanding others’ toxic behaviors, recognizing that you have been in a toxic place in your life as well. However, it is also important to not let empathy and compassion make you a sounding board for toxic energy.
They Set Limitations On What They’re Willing To Tolerate
When you stop participating in toxic behaviors, you are able to more quickly recognize them from other people. Once you start noticing toxic behavior in others, you start noticing your tolerance for toxic behavior. You are a person, not a diary. You can only take on so much of another person’s energy and toxicity. Limit the amount of complaining you’re going to listen to, and the amount of drama you are willing to engage in. An effective way of doing this is asking someone what they need from you when they start venting, complaining, or dumping their negative energy your way. By asking them what they think they want you to do for them, they might realize you can’t really do anything for them and be inspired to handle their emotions themselves. If they say, “I just want you to listen,” you can set a limit on how much you are willing to listen to.
They Pick And Choose Their Battles
It takes energy to endure toxicity. Setting limitations, setting boundaries, and trying to enforce them also takes energy. Unfortunately, sometimes your efforts will be short of success. You cannot change or control other people, especially when someone is in a toxic state. You have to be willing to pick and choose your battles when they ignore your limitations, cross your boundaries, or refuse to take what you’re saying into consideration. Pick and choose what you are willing to spend your energy on. When you decide you’re done, simply let that person know you can’t talk anymore and that you have to go. You won’t be lying- you’ll authentically be telling the truth.
They Have The Wisdom To Know The Difference
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” There are things you can change. There are things you cannot change. Namely, you can change yourself. You cannot change others. A hallmark of becoming a non-toxic person is gaining the wisdom to know the difference between what is in your control and what is out of your control. Non-toxic people are able to handle toxic people more efficiently because they have found the serenity in letting go of what they cannot change and gained confidence by acting courageously on what they can.
There are a variety of factors that contribute to stress outside of residential recovery. At Cypress Lakes Lodge, we look to understand on a case by case basis, what stresses might potentially present themselves to our clients seeking recovery. We can be contacted on 409 331 2204.